Sunday, December 15, 2013


The tree is up, the train is out, stockings are hung. Yet the Santa spirit is dimming. 
The inevitable is occurring in my house with my oldest. Deep down, I knew it was close, but I kept telling myself we had at least 1 more year. Well, a school friend has really put doubt in my son's mind. Is Santa real?
"So and so said the parents do the gifts and say it is Santa." Hubs responded, "You believe that?" 
He isn't pouting or sad, was in the middle of a funny face.  
Ok, so throw in there that hubs is trying to finish the go-cart in time for Christmas and has it in the garage, not very well hidden. Last night, despite hubs attempt to convince him it is a friend's lawn mower, he announced, "I thought that was a go-cart. I really did." {Trying hard not to be upset with the poor planning.}
I know kids find out, but as I tell my students, even if you don't believe you cannot tell others, you have to keep that quiet. As a teacher I am often asked if I believe. My answer, "Yes I do, if I don't, then I won't get gifts. Believing is fun." 
I remember when I found out. I was crushed. My cousin told me and was prepared to give me proof, stay up and listen for my mom to wrap presents. Saddest night. I was already too old for my own good, I did not need that part of my childhood to end. 
I remember I was cranky on Christmas Eve and cried in disbelief. I kept my new knowledge secret until the next year when I snottily proclaimed to my mom, "I know the truth!" I remember she was crushed. Well, life is coming full circle. 
I know it is lying, but without the belief in the magic, it is isn't as fun. I lost my excitement over the holiday for a while, but with children that excitement was roused and it helped me enjoy the Santa aspect of the holiday more than ever before. It is fun to plan surprises and watch them open their surprises. If they think parents are behind it, the excitement isn't the same. There is something about surprising someone and letting Santa take the credit. 
Today, I am struggling. Struggling with which direction to go, tell the truth or lie. Of course I can play dumb, he didn't tell me. I can carry on the charade and let him figure it out all on his own. But this is really making me cranky. Almost like the night I found out. 
I also need to make certain that he does not spoil this for his brothers.
Why do I care so much? Well, I think it comes down to not believing means we are headed in to the life stage of less innocence. I am not ready for the next big stage. He is not ready for the next stage. Seriously, he is not ready. He is immature and still so impulsive. I love the kid, but sheesh, he is one tough cookie. How can he be ready? 
So for today, I have a game plan. We have a 20 minute session scheduled with an amazing photographer and Santa tonight. I am surprising them with an opportunity to interact with the big man himself. This might keep him on board for a little longer. 
I told all 3 it was time to work on their letters. 

Thanks to Whimsy Workshop, we used the cute Dear Santa frames she has in her store. I also wrote one and they wrote theirs modeling it after mine. It was a wonderful teaching moment. 

{On a side note, I am pretty convinced that my youngest will not be ready for kindergarten this year, based on the amount of crying over tracing "Dear Santa" and crying that he cannot write. Yep, this has been a tough day!}

I have a letter from Santa that will be waiting with our elf for them to find after they finish their showers. In the letter, it mentions a surprise. Well, the surprise is Despicable Me 2 will be in our van's DVD player so they can watch it on our way to the photo shoot. I am sure the question will be, "How did he?" But I can defer that to, "Magic."

I know it seems like I am working hard to preserve a lie. Yes, in a way, but it is fun to do surprise things and have something magical and innocent to believe in. I am not ready for reality. We have enough of reality in our daily life. I want to preserve some innocence a little longer.
I guess my letter should have said,
Dear Santa, 
All I want for Christmas is for my kids to believe and stay young. 
Love, Me!


It really isn't too much to ask for, is it? 

1 comment:

  1. You should have the boys watch Polar Express....even if they've seen it a million times. Maybe that will help a little with the believing part. I love that Santa is keeping the magic alive in your house.
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